Being a single parent means wearing many hats and taking on many different responsibilities. It can be compared to having three full-time jobs. And this is especially true when children are young, and separations are messy.
Inspirational speaker and radio host Devina Kaur says, “It is not always easy to maintain a healthy sense of self when you have no time for yourself and barely any time to get to know each other as a couple or as individuals. It can be stressful, challenging, and at times heartbreaking. However, it is not impossible to be a successful single parent.”
The best way to support your child’s development is to encourage them to take on similar roles that you would have taken previously in your role as a parent. It may be helpful to consider what they will face when they grow up and form their own families. Here Kaur shares three tips.
3 tips that can help you be a better single parent
Creating a safe space
Create a safe space for your children to express themselves without fear of judgement or repercussion. This can be done using stickers on the refrigerator, coloured pencils and crayons, books with positive messages, nursery rhymes, and songs with positive messages. Once you have created this safe space for your children, permit them to explore their world. Remember to set boundaries on what is acceptable behaviour and acceptable means of expressing yourself to promote healthy development.
Patience and empathy
Show your children patience and empathy by not getting overwhelmed when having a bad day. Understandably, you may get frustrated with your children because of the many challenges you face as a single parent, but it’s important to put yourself in your child’s shoes. Try to see things from their perspective. Remember how hard it was for you to adjust to life as a single parent. You may find that putting yourself in your child’s shoes helps you understand what they are going through and sets an example for them on how to handle difficult situations. It also reinforces the message that life is hard, but we make it through if we stick together and help each other through hard times.
Professional help
Psychological therapy can help, especially if you or your child have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect. Therapy can help boost your self-esteem, help you overcome behavioural challenges, and reinforce important life skills. You may find that psychotherapy provides you with the emotional support to feel more comfortable in your role of disciplinarian and nurturer. Your children, who may have experienced the same type of trauma, may also benefit from the emotional support you receive.
Single parents can be successful, especially if they take the time to anticipate and prepare for everyday challenges. Remember that life is challenging, and we are only here for a limited time. We need to learn many life lessons on our journey in the world, so we should stock up on patience and empathy whenever possible and treat others with the same so that we live life to the fullest.
